Ham Chunks and Wine is about a love for partying and drinking fun drinks but it’s equally about the crippling pain from the morning after the festivities and the person you have become. After many many mornings waking up with the hangover fear and thinking to myself what the fuck am I doing with my life, I decided that making love songs about actually people is just incredible boring and that no single person deserves me to write a whole fucking song about them BUT What DOES deserve a beautiful love song is one of the best things to do life aka go out and get wild which might just be the next best thing.
With this incredible revelation, and a new found love for love songs.. I set off in to the world to celebrate, the problem was, though, just like being in love with a person, being in love with drinking can also have its shitty negative downfalls.
This so called night out started off super fun, we watched the AJ boxing game, drank some jaegerbombs and danced to some new metal at da club… it was a fantastic evening of joy, but nights like those can’t ever be just fun can they? They most certainly can not.
The super fun night took a dark turn and ended up in me and my boyfriend getting in to a bit of a dispute, the reason? I had drank farrr too much, and was being a massive super bitch.. for no apparent reason other then to get a bit of a kick.
Anyway.. I can’t remember what actually happened but he ran off and left me at da club on my own.. I got home safely (i think) and woke up in my bed (i’m certain) and went straight to sleep like the wonderful sleeping angel I am.
It was a great nights sleep.
Alarm goes off, 8:30am - I wake up, feeling strangely fine, not even remembering the argument with my bf.
“I can hack this drinking pretty fucking well” I smugly thought to myself, whilst sprite-fully jumping out of bed.
I went downstairs to get some water to nurse my non- hangover, open up the door to the living room, and turn on the lights BUT to my complete HORROR there was red wine and last nights parma ham pieces spread out all over my living room floor, like a picnic gone wrong.. Chunks everywhere, just everywhere! It added an extra blow as I had just had my floor revarnished so I had to tell the builder that it was my cat who had been sick everywhere, Rule 1: Always blame the cat. This puke would be my little secret (but now I’ve shared it with the world, so alas, a secret no more..)
Horrified at myself I tried to piece together the night and how the hell this had happened, to me of all people, GFOTY.. I never quite managed to figure out the whole entire story but what I did know was if I could take myself back to the beginning of the night, I probably wouldn’t have had those Jaegerbombs.. but then again, maybe if I didn’t it still would’ve happened. I guess what I learnt from the situation, Is that it made a really good E.P name, and it’s very relatable. Don’t drink red wine, followed by eating ham before going wild at the club with your boyfriend. You’ll end up all alone, wishing that todays nightmare was yesterdays dream.
Oh, and drinking is very bad.